Like us on Helping Young People Through Scary Times
The world can be a scary place for children and adults alike. When acts of violence, despair and/or tragedy occur, children look to the adults in their lives for answers. As caring adults, we may have questions ourselves, including how to help our young people through difficult times. Here are a few tips for talking with the young people in your life about tragedy in the news.
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Don’t ignore the conversations, but don’t force it. CNN National Security Analyst, Juliette Kayyem advises, “If you are sitting at home, waiting for them to walk in and say, "What do you think of Dallas?," your kids are likely to view it as phony and forced. Engage them naturally and don't lead the conversation. Questions like, "How are you feeling about what is going on?" or "Are your friends talking about Alton Sterling or Philando Castile?" will be much more successful. Let them set the pace and tone.”
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Reassure the youth that it is okay to talk about sad and/or scary things. Not only is it okay to talk about sad or scary things, but it is also all right to admit feeling sad, scared, or angry.
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Encourage questions, even if they arise at a later time. David Schonfeld, MD, writes, “Like adults, children are better able to cope with a crisis if they feel they understand it. Question-and-answer exchanges provide you with the opportunity to offer support as your child begins to understand the crisis and the response to it.”
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Reassure the youngster. Young people who see or hear about acts of violence can become fearful that a similar act may happen to themselves or those whom they love. Discuss their safety and work with them to identify caring adults they can turn to when they are not feeling safe.
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Learn from Mr. Rogers and identify the helpers. "When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping." To this day, especially in times of "disaster," I remember my mother's words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world." Like Fred Roger’s Mom help the young people in your life identify those people who are helping.
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Examine your own behavior. How do you approach conflict? What are the ideas that the young people in your life are learning from you? Be the example you wish them to see.
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Do something: Talking about feelings can only go so far. Include your child in preparing an emergency kit for your home or site and developing emergency protocols in the event of a crisis. Help the young people in your life understand productive ways they can respond and take action.
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Turn off the TV and tune out: Too much of anything is never good for young people, and that includes their access to a world that may be in turmoil. Please take time to turn off the television, PlayStation, and internet and spend some time enjoying the summer!
These suggestions come from a variety of sources including:
For more information on-line, go to Links – Tips for Families, Parents and Youth Workers